You're so nebulous sometimes
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I believe in your delicious
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
