is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
