They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
