we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
