Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
