Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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