the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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