We named our party play list daddy issues
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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