She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
