So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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