Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I believe in your delicious
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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