why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
