I can text with my tongue
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
