I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
