in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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