I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
