I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
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