omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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