remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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