I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
