just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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