Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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