Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
