Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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