she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
