I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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