My friends, they love my intelligence
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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