return my video game
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
