Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
