South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
