I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
