if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
