i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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