yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize