I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
