i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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