I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
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He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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