Why are handjobs necessary in class?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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