you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
