Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
