I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
