He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
