I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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