Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
