I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
