Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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