I am in a vortex of obligation.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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