dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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