I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
