Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Randomize
