He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
