I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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