I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
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I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
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I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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