If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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