Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
