I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
