You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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