I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Randomize
