we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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