Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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