I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
