I wanna bring you to show and tell
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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