im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
