My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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